AlGore To Wage War Against... COWS?

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"What in God's name is that SMELL!?!?"

"It wasn't me!!! I swear!!!"

Yes, it appears that the true culprit of "global warming" that AlGore must now wage war on is not the internal combustion engine, or industrial societies, or even (evil!) capitalism that underlies them... no, according to a new group of scientists... it is COWS!!!

According to the The Independent (UK) article "Cow 'Emissions' More Damaging To Planet Than CO2 From Cars" -

Meet the world's top destroyer of the environment. It is not the car, or the plane,or even George Bush: it is the cow.

A United Nations report has identified the world's rapidly growing herds of cattle as the greatest threat to the climate, forests and wildlife. And they are blamed for a host of other environmental crimes, from acid rain to the introduction of alien species, from producing deserts to creating dead zones in the oceans, from poisoning rivers and drinking water to destroying coral reefs.

(Read the rest here)

Gee, do you think Gore is now going to apologize for the misconceptions he's propagated for the last ten years?

For his denial that there ever were previous instances of "global warming" - like those that followed the 15-20 previous ice ages, which occurred long before the introduction of the internal combustion engine?

Gee, how many 8-year-olds who have been indoctrinated in "global warming" hysteria are aware of that, thanks to Gore? And how many of them will carry their AlGore-based misconceptions for the rest of their lives, strongly influencing their decision-making processes re everything from which auto to buy to which politicians to vote for?

AlGore has been a one-man wrecking machine of the scientific method, and more: quite possibly the most notorious and destructive propagandist of our time, with one primary target on his mind: freedom, progress and capitalism.

And unfortunately, like the Islamists and jihadists we are now at war with, anyone who questions or criticizes his beliefs or methods is retaliated against, first, in the media, and then, via his brigade of swooning "enforcers," who claim that anyone who holds a different opinion is a global warming "denier," a disgusting charge that equivocates such challenges to Holocaust deniers.

I can't wait to see the mainstream media pick up and publicize this story as widely, frequently and enduringly as they have all of AlGore's other hysterical proclamations.

Waiting...

Waiting...

Waiting...



************** crickets *****************

Uh-huh.


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UPDATE: FEBRUARY 20, 2007

A new article describes the extent of the bovine fart problem... yet provides no indication as to Brigadeer Nutjob Propagandist-in-Chief AlGore's strategy to fight this scourge:

Humans' Beef With Livestock: A Warmer Planet

Excerpt:

As Congress begins to tackle the causes and cures of global warming, the action focuses on gas-guzzling vehicles and coal-fired power plants, not on lowly bovines.
Yet livestock are a major emitter of greenhouse gases that cause climate change. And as meat becomes a growing mainstay of human diet around the world, changing what we eat may prove as hard as changing what we drive.

It's not just the well-known and frequently joked-about flatulence and manure of grass-chewing cattle that's the problem, according to a recent report by the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO). Land-use changes, especially deforestation to expand pastures and to create arable land for feed crops, is a big part. So is the use of energy to produce fertilizers, to run the slaughterhouses and meat-processing plants, and to pump water.

"Livestock are one of the most significant contributors to today's most serious environmental problems," Henning Steinfeld, senior author of the report, said when the FAO findings were released in November.

Well. Seems AlGore, Sen. Barbara Boxer and the rest of the Global Warming propagandists have a lot on their plates at the moment, to continue to condemn mankind, while excluding our bovine friends and their culpability for our plight.

Fortunately, The People's Cube has obtained from an unknown source an early draft of AlGore's acceptance speech for the Oscar he's slated to win for his propagandamentary, "An Inconvenient Truth." Excerpt:

Climate change is a modern-day equivalent of class struggle. Global Warming is an easily understood, historically inevitable concept in Marxist Science designed to help the Party to crush capitalism and fulfill mankind's utmost desire to redistribute wealth and establish a centralized global government with an army of enlightened bureaucrats running a planned global economy based on world-wide quotas and five-year plans.

In the absence of classical Marxist precondi-tions for the Revolution - global crisis of capitalism combined with massive poverty and despair - Global Warming stands out as the most convenient, non-denominational replacement thereof. It provides both the means to manipulate the masses - and a moral justification for doing so.

As such it replaces the previously promising but failed agitprop tools as "Overpopulation," "Ozone Holes," "Global Famine," and "Ice Age 2." Until the time when it gets replaced by another convenient agitprop tool, Global Warming must remain an unquestionable dogma in all political discussions (you shall be notified of changes, if any, by the NPR, the New York Times, and other progressive media organs).

The importance of Global Warming for the Revolution is too great to leave it in the hands of scientists. The masses must believe that it is beneficial to have faith in Global Warming whether it can be proven or not. If Global Warming didn't exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Global Warming encompasses four dogmas:

1. Global temperatures are rising.
2. This is a bad thing.
3. Rising temperatures (if they exist) are caused by human industries.
4. We must place human industries under centralized control and issue production quotas to stop rising temperatures.

Note: if you can't prove Proposition #1 & #3 you must quickly move to #4.

(continued here)

Ah, yes. Classic AlGore --- if only he were to tell the real, unvarnished, inconvenient truth about his views on mankind and "global warming."

Wait, is there an Oscar for that? Whoops, no, sorry.

The Oscar that AlGore is going to win merely recognizes AlGore's ability to indoctrinate millions of minions into one of the most anti-reason, anti-human, anti-freedom propaganda campaigns ever created.

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