Sunday, September 24, 2006

2nd Secret DNC Memo REVEALED!!! Sneak Peak at Proposed 2008 Cabinet!!!


As reported here, on September 22, 2006, I inadverntently received a top-secret email from Howard Dean regarding the DNC's consideration of running a Mahmoud Ahmedinejad - Hugo Chavez ticket for president & vice-president in 2008.

"We did it, Mahmoud!!! We convinced those stupid American dhimmis that we are just terribly misunderstood peaceniks, and that we'll improve their lives!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"

So NOW, imagine my surprise to inadvertently receive still ANOTHER secret email from the DNC, this one describing the menu of cabinet & key appointments an Ahmedinejad - Chavez administration would consist of!!!




DATE: September 23, 2006

FROM: HOWARD DEAN, Chairman, Democratic National Committee

(and especially, our new seething lunatic base!)


Dear Loonbat (just KIDDING!!!)... I mean, Fellow Democrat:

In my email from yesterday, I told you of my BIG idea to have the DNC run an Ahmedinejad-Chavez ticket in 2008, and explained why I and other DNC executives are confident that this ticket will restore us to majority status.

Today, I have been authorized to share with you the names of the people who would fill key posts in such an administration.

Following is a list of these posts, with Uncle Mahmoud's description of the key qualifications of each!!!


Post: Council on the Promotion of Virtue & Prevention of Vice

Uncle Mahmoud says: "These are the supreme rulers, and to question or oppose them is to mean inviting death. They alone will decide who lives and who dies, for whatever crimes they claim one has committed.

"For Americans, this new ruler-ship will be hard to accept at first, what with its somewhat different view on premarital sex, particularly if it is practiced by a young woman (read the story of one such offender
here, and see video documentary here). But thanks to the Council, all American women will soon learn their place --- as will men, children, and small animals."


Post: Czar of Labor


Uncle Mahmoud says: "If ever there was a man who knows how to keep civilians motivated to work, without complaint of any kind, it's Lil' Kim. Behind that horrible bouffount hairdo and Elvis-ish glasses lies a natural-born labor negotiator. It is true that some consider his incentives fairly drastic ('Work at tasks we assign to you, and maybe --- just maybe --- you'll live to see tomorrow; refuse, and you'll be executed.').

"But it won't be easy to break Americans' notorious self-determination, or their view of government officials as merely civil servants, accountable to citizens. No, we'll need to rapidly bury those notions, and fast. Lil' Kim will be vital to this effort, and he will work closely with my next nominee, in this campaign to erradicate that notorious rugged American individualism."


Post: Czar, Federal Communications Commission


Uncle Mahmoud says: Ted is perfect for this post. He knows the media business as well as anyone, as well as how to craft agreements that enable dictators and jihadists to get their message out, exclusively on his networks. And like a good dhimmi, he also agreed to never criticize his hosts, nor to feature any voices or stories that are critical of them.

"Further, as Ted has gone progressively more crazy (or 'MUCHO loco,' as Uncle Hugo says) since the Fox News Channel has been whipping his CNN's ass week after wek, month after month, we believe that he has the motivation and energy to help us create all-jihad-sympthizing TV, all the time. Plus, although Ted voiced initial opposition to banning all explicit, suggestive or subversive programming, he finally realized that in order to have a peaceful, jihad-sympathizing society, we all need to make some sacrifices.

"We are very confident that with the proper medication, Ted will be a very useful tool for us."


Post: Ambassador to Hezbollahstan


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Howard Dean tells me that some smartass American sumbitch, 'JonQuixote,' has been documenting here how Hezbollah, under Iran's guidance and support, has been systematically destroying Lebanon, and is replacing it with a new nation: 'Hezbollahstan'."

But as 'Mother Sheehan' has demonstrated the advanced mental capacity to understand that folks like Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad are not really terrorists, but rather, are 'freedom fighters' (as documented here; see links), I can think of no one more well-suited to be 'our voice in Lebanon..' er... wait, I mean, 'Hezbollahstan'."


Post: Deputy Czar of Education


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Here's another wise American who 'gets it.' Professor Churchill accepts the fact that American civilians are culpable for whatever their government does, and for any way in which they or their government commits any act that the rest of the world finds insulting --- and therefore, they really are, as Churchill said, 'Little Eichmanns,' who deserved to be executed or burned alive.

"Hey, America's loss is our gain, in the form of a nutjob deluxe, like Professor Churchill!!!"


Post: Attorney General


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Mr. Clark may be a nutjob royale, but he's OUR kind of nutjob royale.

"In short, he is the ultimate dhimmi. He's never seen an aspect of America that he couldn't voice disdain over, or the most hideous act of foreign oppression or brutality that he couldn't explain away as a gigantic misinterpretation of that nation's true, benevolent nature, and its rich cultural legacy. Mr. Clark (or as we call him, 'Your Nuttiness') will be a key tool, along with the ACLU and other jihadist-sympathizers, of crafting and enforcing laws that will bring American rugged individualism to its knees. Just so long as we keep him supplied with Lithium-soaked GummyBears(TM), that is..."


Post: Deputy Press Secretary


Uncle Mahmoud says: "What Mr. Clark (above) would bring to an Ahmedinejad-Chavez administration from a legal perspective, Dr. Chomsky would bring from a philosophical perspective.

"Well, although our strict religious code supercedes any silly philosophical notion, Dr. Chomsky has repeatedly demonstrated a willingness --- like Mr. Clark --- to subvert America at every turn, while granting almost blanket amnesty to the world's most vicious butchers, and those who enable them.

"We believe Dr. Chomsky will be a key tool in translating our ultimate, apocalyptic visions and values into terms that are... not alarming to ordinary, thinking Americans. We have nothing to worry about from the American media... they'll believe whatever we tell them to believe, and report whatever we tell them to report. But those clear-thinking, self-respecting, historally-aware Americans could be a problem --- and that's why we'll need the help of a very practiced, jihadist-equivocating wordsmith. I and our Council of Mullahs are thrilled that Dr. Chomsky has agreed to fill this key position."


Post: Ambassador to the United Nations


Uncle Mahmoud says: "This former U.S. president is the ultimate tool for me and Uncle Hugo.

"Carter's long history of cozying up to dictators and tyrants, and his willingness to denounce his own nation and especially Israel, mark him as a huge embarrassment to his countrymen, but a hero to the mullahs of Iran and elsehwere. This alone qualifies Carter to lead out delegation to the United Nations, which, as we all know, is the world's leading organization of tyrants, dictators, gangsters, murderers and enemies of freedom --- just the right kind of treehouse for America's most mentally disturbed former president (although, after Clinton's meltdown on the 9/24/06 episode of Fox News Sunday, that may be debatable).

"But President Carter's most significant act of obedience to us was when
he 'certified' the election fraud in Venezeula that cemented Uncle Hugo in power. And to think, all he wanted was a big warm hug from Uncle Hugo... which, as you can see, he got. We really look forward to working with Carter."


Post: National Security Advisor (Honorary)


Uncle Mahmoud says: "For almost six years now, Arthur Sulzburger, Jr. has believed that his job as publisher of the New York Times has qualified him to choose which national security secrets should be disclosed to the American people, en masse, and which should not. Invariably, the disclosures he's chosen to make have had one thing in common: they have hurt America's security (or, conversely, helped the jihadists and their enablers).

"This distinguished track record of dhimmitude, combined with his many contacts within intellectual, artistic and media circles, made Pinch a natural choice for our new National Security Advisor, and we are confident that he will continue to undermine America. (We will, however, consider replacing Pinch if and when he either wakes up or develops a conscience... in which case we've learned that
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf --- a/k/a 'Baghdad Bob' --- may be interested in this position."


Post: Czar of Water Safety, Oceans and Inland Fisheries


Uncle Mahmoud says: "New York Times publisher Arthur 'Pinch' Sulzburger, Jr. (profiled above) personally recommended Senator Kennedy for this post. But Pinch made mention of some kind of inside joke, he said something about never saying 'I can't believe I sank the whole thing!' around Ted.

Does that mean anything to you? Me neither. Anyway...

"We know of Kennedy's extensive work to undermine America at every turn throughout his career, so we take it on faith that Kennedy won't disappoint us. We understand that Democrats from Massachussetts are quite easily transformed into loyal dhimmis; just look at John Kerry and William Delahunt (who kissed Hugo Chavez's feet for giving his constituents free heating oil). Man, that was hilarious... you Americans really are suckers!"


Post: Surgeon General


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Howard Dean told me how important it is in America to give the impression that I will not discriminate against any individuals or groups as I consider nominees for my cabinet (well, except for Jews - they have no place, anywhere) --- and he went on to compliment me on how well I've learned to talk directly to American leftists' sensibilities and vulnerabilities (see here and here).

"So, a
s part of our effort to reach out to our distant friends in al Quada, and to create a more 'inclusive' administration, we've decided to offer this position to Ayman al-Zawahiri, second-in-command only to Osama bin Laden. He's sort of the Dr. Joseph Mengele ('Angel of Death' in the Nazis) of al Quada. We sincerely hope that this appointment will bring the top leadership of al Quada and Iran closer together, for our mutual goal of destroying free, secular societies, and putting strict Islamic theocracies in their places."


Post: Minister of Finance


Uncle Mahmoud says: "This was a proverbial no-brainer. Kofi Annan was at the helm of the organization that committed the largest financial scam in world history - the Iraqi Oil-For-Food scandal.

"If he can pull that off, and still walk out on the U.N. stage every day and carry himself off with such Clintonian persuasiveness, and while cozying up to or appeasing jihadists all over the world, combined with the way that American leftists and Democrats worship the U.N., Kofi was a natural choice.

"If for whatever reason Kofi is not able to fulfill his duties in my administration, however, I've already lined up an alternate: several principals of the Norte del Valle cocaine cartel have expressed interest in running our finance, shakedown, bribery and other secretive operations. The most enthusiastic alternate applicant for this post has been Diego Leon Montoya Sanchez, head of NDV cartel, pictured right. At least he looks the part of one of the most corrupt, depraved actors on the world stage, don't you think?"


Post: Minister of Propaganda


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Until the 2004 American presidential campaign, I and the mullahs had been largely unaware of Mr. Moore's 'work.' I mean, what could we possibly learn from 'artists' such as this obnoxious, bloated, America-hating boor?

"But all that changed with the release of 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' which has
been a hit in jihadist circles around the globe, and has even been featured in their training and propaganda videos.

"What really put Moore on our radar screen for this post, however, was the near-godly status showered upon him by intellectuals, politicians, schoolteachers, the movie industry, college professors, young people and the world media, despite the most obvious
lies, distortions and misrepresentations in this film, and others he has made. The Bush campaign could not offset the damage that Moore was doing to it, and even American news organizations were unwilling to put their admiration for Moore aside long enough to see if what he was saying was true, contextual and verifiable.

"Miscreant though he may be, Michael Moore is exactly the kind of dhimmi we need to direct propaganda films and campaigns, particularly for us to help shape young people. Breaking that American spirit of rugged indvidualism, independence and private religion won't be easy --- but with Moore's assistance, we are confident we will eventually prevail."

UPDATE (September 28, 2006): Well it turns out this nomination has been partially verified; see article "Moore Please: Ahmadinejad Likes Leftist Moviemaker" and "Mahmoud and Me."


Post: Czar of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms


Uncle Mahmoud says: "Although we didn't know what the hell the 'Nation of Islam' was when we first heard about it... when we realized that this nutjob was congenitally anti-American and pro-jihad, well, that was good enough for us...

"We selected Louis Farrakhan for this key post in part because of his organization's suspected involvement in vandalism of liquor stores in the San Francisco area (see article here). Now here's a man who knows how to impose his vision on a culture... and in keeping with jihadist doctrine, decries anyone who in asserts in any way that he, or we for that matter, represent any kind of threat to America, and freedom!

"Calypso Louis will be a vital tool for us to maintain control over a population which has been disarmed and forced into sobriety... and he'll do it with that outer-space smile on his face (as he waits for the
Mother Ship to come retrieve him and his followers, and transports them to the great mental hospital in the sky...)."


© Copyright 2006 by Jon Quixote. All rights reserved. Qualified media representatives interested in publishing this item may contact for information.


Friday, September 22, 2006

Secret DNC Memo re Ahmedinejad-Chavez 2008 Ticket REVEALED!!!


Once again, a secretive internal email from the Democratic National Committee ended up in the JonQuixoteWorld inbox. Between internal DNC gossip, and thank-you emails from jihadists to American leftists and Democrats, this is getting to be a really annoying trend!!! (see here, here and here)

But at least in this case, the email contains information that ordinary Americans will find timely and insightful.

Read on!!!




DATE: September 22, 2006

FROM: HOWARD DEAN, Chairman, Democratic National Committee

(and especially, our new, seething lunatic base!)


Dear Loonbat (just KIDDING!!!)... I mean, Fellow Democrat:

As you may know, we Democrats have been having a hell of a time trying to convince Americans as to why they should vote for us. You, we and they know that we have no agenda, no principles, and no ideas on how to deal with the most pressing issues of the day.

Thankfully, we were able to hold off our lapdogs in the mainstream media for a little while more, by announcing that we have, however, created a new sloagan --- "Democrats: A New Direction for America."
Of course, our friends in the MSM didn't press us for an answer on what that new direction actually IS. As usual, we told them we'd let them know as soon as we decide it, amongst ourselves.

But THEN, a big, big, BIG idea occurred to me, that is gaining traction within the executive ranks here at the DNC.

However, as this is YOUR party too, we need YOUR input to help us determine if this is an idea truly worth pursuing. So here goes...

A few days ago, I began correlating my observations on the the fact that
vocal leftists, DNC members, jihadists and socialist dictators ALL AGREE that:

aPresident Bush is evil, the Devil, a war criminal, and/or the world's biggest terrorist, who started a war based on intelligence that he deliberately manipulated against nations that had nothing to do with Islamic terrorism

a Under President Bush, America is seeking to dominate and enslave the world through sheer military might

a President Bush and key members of his administration were involved, to a large degree, in the 9/11 attacks

a America is the cause of most of the world's problems --- and that its actions, to one degree or another, justified the terrorist attacks of 9/11 (assuming, that is, that President Bush did not perpetrate them)

a America has no moral justification to condemn Islam; to the contrary, it has much to learn and adapt from Muslim culture

a Capitalism is the most dehumanizing and destructive social-economic system ever devised; a civilized culture requires that all social, political and economic practices and beliefs, as well as education and communications, must be controlled by a supreme governing authority

a America is guilty of so many grievous offenses against the world and its people that it can never fully repay. But, it may be able to buy its dignity back, in increments, based on how much of its sovereignty, treasure, lives, freedom and property it is willing to sacrifice to "get along" with other nations and peoples. (And after all, popularity is more important than principle, right?)

a Sooner or later, just like France, England and other European nations, America is going to have to allow Islam to take over its culture; after all, who are we --- as a mere 300 million people --- to counter the will of Islam, which makes up one-fourth of the world's 6 billion + population, and is now the fastest-growing religion in America?

I then noted how when both Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, and Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, made statements reflective of the above beliefs, both of these tyrants were treated like conquering heroes by the United Nations, the world media, and American intellectuals and leftists.

Furthermore, I noted how when Chavez visited Harlem, NY to announce that he's going to give free heating oil to poor Americans, this gangster was welcomed like a benevolent, altruistic rock star.

So here's my BIG IDEA:

Let's face it --- the Islamists are saying the things that most of our new, seething leftist loonbat base believes, but the vast majority cannot say. They implicitly or explicitly endorse every major principle of socialism, as do we, and they bring the energy and visibility that most of us only aspire to.

PLUS, now dig this... you remember President Clinton's "Health Security" Card, sort of a medical Visa card with no limit? That would arm you with a new legal "right" to every medical service and product you could want, regardless of whether you can pay for it or not, "that can never be taken away"?

Remember, right up until we got our asses kicked in the 1994 elections, a majority of the American people --- and Congressfolk and Senators --- were in support of completely socializing American medicine. That was a stroke of genius on their part.

Graphics are key to successful modern socialist propaganda!!!


Now, here's a stroke of genius on MY part: THE DHIMMI SECURITY CARD!!! (click to enlarge)

Is this hot or what!? Uncle Mahmoud said it was one of the best ideas to ever come out of America. I don't know about THAT... but it was obvious from the reception that Uncle Hugo got in Harlem, especially after he announced that he was going to give heating oil to the poor, that really clinched it for me!!! What do you think?

I know that some of you might get a little upset at this whole concept, but I think if you sleep on it, you'll see the logic in it. There really is no other way for us to regain anything that resembles a majority. And, that's what it's all about, right? Plus, the Islamists are right --- it's only a matter of time now before we completely buckle to their demands... so why not just lie back and enjoy it?


Even the writings of that wicked witch of capitalism, Ayn Rand, tacitly endorse the premise I have put forth:

"[On three of the rules governing the mechanics of compromise] 1. In any conflict between two men (or two groups) who hold the same basic principles, it is the more consistent one who wins. 2. In any collaboration between two men (or two groups) who hold different basic principles, it is the more evil or irrational one who wins. 3. When opposite basic principles are clearly and openly defined, it works to the advantage of the rational side; when they are not clearly defined, but are hidden or evaded, it works to the advantage of the irrational side."

- "The Anatomy of Compromise," Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal

The simple fact is that while the Islamists fervently believe in their cause, we don't believe in ours. We don't even know what our cause is.

We are, to the rest of the world, a bunch of self-absorbed, spoiled, schizophrenic mumblers, who have no right to take any action except those that the "world community" approves of, and participates in.

We accept guilt for what we have not done --- but readily assign it to anyone who dares to state that on whole, we have nothing to feel guilty about, or that to the contrary, America has saved, preserved and/or lengthened more lives than any nation in history, and advanced the cause of liberty and happiness to a degree that no other nation can match.

And yet, we are tearing ourselves apart over whether we should, in the name of security, search nervous 24-year-old Muslim males or 78-year-old Caucasian grandmothers in wheelchairs prior to boarding airplanes --- and how we can have one government-controlled school system that can simultaneously cater to every possible philosophical, political and religious ideology --- including our new Islamist guests, residents and citizens.

Clearly, as we no longer have a philosophical backbone, it is only a matter of time before the Islamists advance to a dominant role in our society. Why be so unpragmatic as to continue fighting!?!? Let's be PROactive and ease the transition... it will be better for EVERYONE in the long run --- and America will once again be a nation of principles (but let's not engage in any more nasty debates over which "principles" are; some are better than none!).


We nominate Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for President, and Hugo Chavez for Vice-President, and the world will love America again, and finally be at peace!!!

But in order to ratify this platform, we need YOUR input. So please email your thoughts to:

Or, write to us at:

Lunatics in Command of the Asylum
c/o "Howlin'" Howard Dean, Chairman
Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capitol St. SE
Washington, DC 20003



"Uncle Mahmoud" identifies the figures he'll appoint to his cabinet when he's President... click HERE!!! Tell your friends!!!

Original content is © Copyright 2006 by Jon Quixote. All rights reserved. Qualified media representatives interested in publishing this item may contact for information.


Sunday, September 03, 2006

Assad's A Hypnotist? Annan's On LSD? You Decide


Reality-based thinkers recognize that U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan is among the world’s foremost jihad-appeasers, as is the U.N. itself.

Annan has done and said things in recent years that are unmistakably subversive to freedom, and enabling of the very terrors that he claims he seeks to help prevent.

But several days ago, Annan even outdid himself to such an extent that I think can be attributed to one of only two causes - or possibly both:

(a) Syrian “president” Basher Assad has been studying hypnosis
(b) Assad slipped LSD to Kofi Annan during their last coffee klatch

Case in point - buried on page A23 of the September 2 Washington Post was this little gem:

Annan Says Syria Will Aid Arms Embargo
DAMASCUS, Syria, Sept. 1

U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan said Friday that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad had promised to enforce an arms embargo on Hezbollah under a U.N. resolution that halted Israel's war with the Lebanese Shiite militia.

"The president informed me that Syria supports Security Council Resolution 1701 and will help in its implementation,"
Annan told reporters after talks with Assad.

"While stating Syrian objections to the presence of foreign forces along the Syrian-Lebanese border, the president committed to me that Syria will take all necessary measures to implement in full Paragraph 15 of the resolution," Annan added, referring to a provision that bans illegal arms shipments to Lebanon.

(Continue reading article


Annan actually believes this --- that the primary funnel of arms and money to Hezbollah is just going to shut off their spigot, because Kofi asked nicely?! Is that what we are supposed to believe? Apparently, we are.

As expected, the mainstream media see nothing odd about all this, and would rather devote their prime-time news segments to much more important stories - such as John Mark Karr's psychiatric status, the fallout of the MTV Music Video Awards, the 2006 political horse-race, whether or not Hillary Clinton is going to run for president in 2008, and various celebrity voyeurism.

And the MSM can't figure out why Americans' trust in their "reporting" is going down the tubes, farther than at any point in recent memory.

© Copyright 2006 by Jon Quixote. All rights reserved. Qualified media representatives interested in publishing this item may contact for information.


Saturday, September 02, 2006

The "Re-Branding" Of Uncle Mahmoud


Coming from a background in advertising and marketing, I pay close attention to the way that words and images are used to depict political, philosophical and economic ideas.

Which is part of the reason why I was so horrified by the ease with which the Clintonistas, with their Hollywood enablers, could convince the American people of the merits in their socialistic ideas, during their "two-for-the-price-of-one" reign.

In advertising, there is a concept called "re-branding" - which essentially means that when one brand (e.g. Coke, Skechers, etc.) gets into trouble for any reason, then it's time for a massive image adjustment, if not a complete re-launch, under a similar or different brand name.

The Iranian madman, Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, has apparently been paying close attention to America's and the world's mainstream media, and general advertising strategies.

Ahmedinejad's hat-trick with CBS's Mike Wallace via his "60 Minutes" interview was merely his first "shot across the bow" to demonstrate how well he has learned how to play the modern media game. It also demonstrated how gullible the MSM has become, to let him get away with his "re-branding" of himself as a benevolent "peace" activist.

According to Ahmedinejad, here is a visual summary of his new stance on geopolitical relations (click to enlarge):

In reality --- the reality that the MSM keeps trying to deny, or pretend he cannot possibly mean --- is depicted below (click to enlarge):

The MSM would much rather focus its resources, and the precious air-time and space in their newspapers and magazines, on really important stories ---- like the JonBonet Ramsey investigation, celebrity gossip, whether Katie Couric will be happy at the CBS Nightly News anchor desk, fluctuating gas prices, political horse-races, etc.

(For more background, check out this story I posted here on this blog --- my very first conspiracy theory!!!)

Until we wake up and realize that there is only ONE Iranian madman, that he is SERIOUS about what he says (re threats), the sooner we will forge a realistic and effective means of protecting America, and dealing with this menace, once and for all.

© Copyright 2006 by Jon Quixote. All rights reserved. Qualified media representatives interested in publishing this item may contact for information.