Thursday, August 10, 2006

Secret White House Phone Call re England Plane Plot Revealed! Whackjob Leftist Conspiracy Theories Confirmed!!!



As has been widely reported, the seething left in America – which forms the new base of the Democratic Party (as evidenced recently in Connecticut) – harbor wild, outer-space conspiracy theories about the Bush administration, and America in general.

With today’s shocking news of a jihadist plot to blow up ten trans-Atlantic commercial jets, the left’s conspiracy theories flew like paper airplanes in a 2nd grade classroom with an introverted substitute teacher. See
The Daily Kos, and the Huffington Post links: here, here and here.

So this afternoon, I was minding my own business, about to make a call on my cell phone, when what should I hear as I begin to dial!?

The following is the unedited transcription, which I typed while listening in astonishment, then posted on the above links at Huffington Post:




Hello, Karl?


Yeah, Tony Blair here.

Oh, hi Tony. Good job today.

Thanks - but hey, it wouldn't have worked without all your friends at Halliburton, ExxonMobil, TasteeFreeze, KFC, Diebold and Meineke.

Well, thanks, but you Brits really kept up your end of the bargain.

Oh, Karl, please... this whole plot was hatched by you, Scooter, Dick, and the rest of the neocon Darth Vader gang.

OK, OK Tony, we had a little something to do with it.

And that Lieberman... wow!!! Less than 24 hours after his defeat, he was able to make a real contribution, too.

Yeah, well, ever since we put that chip in his brain back in 2002, he's been like a puppy to us - we can program him from up to 200 miles away.


But we have a problem, Tony.

What's that, Karl?

Well, it's those folks over at Huffington Post, or as we call it at the White House, "HuffTardsVille."

What about them?

Well, they got wind that this entire plane-bomb-plot is a big hoax, and that we hatched and orchestrated it.

Are you serious?


What do they know?

Well, not much. But somehow they figured out that we are trying to scare the American people so they'll vote for Republicans in the fall elections. And they got out their calcluators and figured out that we are now only 90 days away from the election.

Well, what are you going to do?

Nothing. Just keep doing our jobs. After all, we have a mission: to destroy the earth, while getting rich at the same time. We just have to help keep the American people on track to do what we want.
So they still buy the whole Islamic militant threat? They still believe the lie that Islamic terrorists are targeting the USA and England?

Like lemmings to the slaughter. They buy it all. Thanks to our subliminal TV advertising, the brainwaves from our secret Halliburton-ExxonMobil-KFC-PepsiCo spy satellites, and cell-phone audiowaves, we can control all their perceptions.

Too cool!!! But don't you have to clamp down on the HuffTardsVille crowd?

No. We already monitor all their IP addresses and posts, and thanks to the PATRIOT Act and other devices, we can determine what toppings their second grade teachers put on the pizzas they ordered from Domino's.

Wow, you need to give us all that tech!!!

Sure, just as soon as you send over those British hookers like we asked for. Oh, and some more SaVille Row suits, please.

Oh, alright, Karl. You've certainly earned it today.

So, in summary, we're still on track to take over the world. The stupid HuffTards can squawk all they want. If need be, we'll just round them all up and put them in mental hosptials, until our plan is complete.

But haven't many of them already spent time in mental hospitals?

Yes - that's the beautiful part. We only need to fill in the "re-admission" papers, not go through all that paperwork for the first time!

Brilliant, and yet, scrumptiously simple!!!

OK well, I have to go. We have another animal sacrifice to get to in the White House basement. Then I have to go walk down K Street and kick some homeless people, punch some puppies and drown some kittens. Then, when I get back, the staff and I have our nightly seance, in which we pledge our souls to Satan, and commit ourselves to the destruction of America.

Alright, well, cheeri-o, Karl. Well done, old chap.

Thanks, Tony. Don't forget about the hookers and the SaVille Row suits.

Righto... ta-ta for now, Karl! Give my best to George!

Later, Tony.




It's just like the crowds at The Huffington Post and the Daily Kos said!!!
There really is no threat from Islamic fascism!!! The Bush administration really is evil, and this whole plane-bomb thing today was just a hoax, to scare us, ensure Republican victories in November, and line the pockets of Cheney's oil buddies!!!

Wow, now I'm a believer!!!

Where's my tin-foil hat!?!?


Unfortunately, the reception to my posting the above at the Huffington Post from the "enlightened" set there was, ahem, less than hospitable, considering the magnitude of this disclosure!!!

But to them, even "JonQuixote" is a conspiracy; they routinely claim that "he" is actually a paid operative of Karl Rove, ExxonMobil, Halliburton, Diebold and at least 10 other (evil) multinational corporations. Oh well!!!

© Copyright 2006 by Jon Quixote. All rights reserved. Qualified media representatives interested in publishing this item may contact for information.


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